Please check hair color:
Females: Blonde Platinum Blonde
Males: Blonde Platinum Blonde Bald
Teenagers: Red Orange Green Purple Blue Skinhead
Please check activities you perform while driving:(Check all that apply) Eating Drinking Starbucks coffee Applying make-up (male or female) Shaving (male or female) Talking on the phone Slapping kids in the back-seat Applying cellulite treatment to thighs Snorting cocaine (already checked for your convenience) Watching TV Reading Variety Surfing the net via laptop Discharging firearms / Reloading*
*Please indicate how many times:
you expect to shoot at other drivers
how many times you expect to be shot at while driving
If you are the victim of a car jacking, you should immediately:
Call the police to report the crime.
Call Channel 5 News to report the crime, then watch your car on the news in a high-speed chase.
Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company for 911 call not going through.
Call your therapist.
In the event of an earthquake, you should:
stop your car.
keep driving and hope for the best.
immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones.
pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 5.
In the instance of rain, you should:
never drive over 5 MPH.
drive twice as fast as usual.
you're not sure what "rain" is.
Please indicate number of therapy sessions per week:
Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
Prozac
Zovirax
Lithium
Zanax
Valium
Zoloft
All of the above
None of the above*
*If none, please explain:
Length of daily commute:
Less than 1 hour
1 hour
2 hours
3 hours
4 hours or more
*If less than 1 hour, please explain:
When stopped by police, you should:
pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready.
try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405 Freeway.
have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit.
When turning, you should always signal your intentions by:
using your directional signals.
what is a "directional signal"?
Which part of your car will wear out most often?
the wiper blades.
the belts.
the horn.
(Shocks) suspension.
The "bright" setting on your headlights is for:
dark, poorly lit roads.
flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way.
revenge
Your rear view mirror is for:
watching for approaching cars.
watching for approaching police cars.
checking your hair.
fixing your make-up