Hillbilly Medical Terminology

Benign - ..What you be after you be eight.

Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria.

Barium - What doctors do when patients die.

Caesarian Section - A neighborhood in Rome.

Catscan - Searching for the kitty.

Cauterize - Made eye contact with her.

Colic - A Sheep dog.

Coma - A punctuation mark.

D&C - Where Washington is.

Dilate - To live long.

Enema - Not a friend.

Fester - Quicker than someone else.

Fibula - A small lie.

G.I. Series - World Series of military baseball.

Hangnail - What you hang your coat on.

Impotent - Distinguished, well known.

Labor Pain - Getting hurt at work.

Medical Staff - A doctors cane

Morbid - A higher offer than I bid.

Nitrates - Cheaper than day rates.

Node - I knew it.

Outpatient - A patient who has fainted.

Pap Smear - A fatherhood test.

Pelvis - ....Second cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative - A letter carrier.

Recovery Room - Place to do upholstery.

Rectum - ..Darn near killed him.

Secretion - Hiding something.

Seizure - Roman emperor.

Tablet - A small table.

Terminal Illness - Getting sick at the airport.

Tumor - More than one.

Urine - Opposite of mine.

Varicose - Nearby, close by.