Consumer Warnings

  1. On a blanket from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.

  2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.

  3. On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

  4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink - AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

  5. On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

  6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.
    (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)

  7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.

  8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles OPEN OTHER END.

  9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?

  10. On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

  11. On a bag of Fritos - YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.

  12. On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.

  13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box)- DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.

  14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.

  15. On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.

  16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.

  17. On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.

  18. On Sainsbury's peanuts - WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.

  19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.

  20. On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.

  21. On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.

  22. On some frozen dinners SERVING SUGGESTION DEFROST.

  23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box FITS ONE HEAD.

  24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.

  25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.

  26. On Nytol sleep aid WARNING MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.

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